dear God (will always be)...

dear God..

here i am again, please don't get bored of me..
You know what i will say..
without words, You've already known what's on my mind..

yeah, still the same problem, God..
today i read a book about Elia.
can i be like him?
already known from the beginning what's his purpose in this life.
and You showed him exactly what he must did.
even his way was not smooth but still You guided him.
and at the end, he'd finished his task and You blessed him.

why do i feel, my life is not easy lately?
i just feel lost and lost and lost..
i'm losing my love, along with my hope and my spirit.
i know nothing last forever in this world..
but can You give more time to feel my love?

sometimes, i wish i can turn back of time..
i will go back to a moment that i was a child, and spend a lil time there..
a moment when..
i can be happy with no reason

dear God, i know how pathetic i am..
please make me strong then..

the ugly truth..

why i should keep thinking of you when i have decided to let you go?

huushhh.. huuushhh..
go away this crazy feeling..

yeahhh.. the truth is ugly..


ps : miss you, bubbly.. take care and hope you doing well there..

about religion

still.. religion is a kind of huge issue for some relationship.
like my best friend's.. she happened to be in this different religion relationship. she knows that religion is a big issue for her family. it's like a must that she have to have a 'same religion' husband. now she feels like it's going nowhere..

for all my life, i've been taught in the church that i should to make a relationship with person in same religion or if different i should bring him to Jesus.

i always try to put that on my mind but when it comes to love, sometimes i just ignore it..
coz based on my experiences, a certain religion doesn't make you better than others.
i was hanging out with someone with same religion, but it ends worst, although now we start to talk again.
in other times, i've meet some guys with different religion and still i can catch along with them.
so i can't say that this religion issue is huge or not..

i dunno what's next in my life.. but still i'm hoping that i will spend the rest of my life with someone that i can pray together and going to church together..;)

how can you love someone but you say many bad things about him?

casual talking between me and one of colleagues is about her marriage life.
she's been married for about 11 years.. and what i've heard so many things about her husband, mostly are bad things..
like how lazy and selfish he is, or something immature from someone that been married for that long, or about being irresponsible for his two boys, the last about his jobless for almost 7 months.

i'm really questioning about what kind of marriage that they have.
i'm not an expert to analyze about this situation, but still i cant stop to say that this marriage is not okay.
like when you love someone how can you say bad things about him... it's not right..

i dunno where they're going.. but friend, if you want to make your marriage is going well maybe you should stop complaining about your husband or get some self evaluation.

(i'm too stressful to heard another "story" from your marriage life)