...

have you ever feel like this?
you're not alone, surrounding by all your friends in the middle of a bunch of people but deep down, you feel lonely..
yeah, i must admit it, i feel lonely.. the scarest feeling that i ever feel..

it's not like you feel bored because you will have some other activities to make you busy so you can let go the boring feeling..
and for this lonely feeling, it just stays there and you dunno what to do to let it go..

i have no idea when did this feeling start, but lately it's kind of haunting me.
picturing myself alone in some dark room..
have no hope or no faith..
have no one i can rely on..

caca, are you happy now?

there's a story about caca..
someone, that i've never known before,
someone who got me this blast.
heard some of her story, at first i'm so afraid..

about her losing mind because of this guy.
friends and her family, just gave up to bring her back.
called her, crazy and stupid.
she's gave him everything, her heart and mind, even maybe her soul.
in other way, he just treated her like some kind of freak.
she felt alone, only tears with her.
nothing she can do, just loving him.
until one day she's got what she wants, she's got married with that guy.
maybe at the end he's just realized only caca who can love him that much..
with her unconditional love.

i'm so afraid to be like her.
feel trapped in this kind of feeling.
but in some way, i want to be like her.
having her own happy ending.

so.. caca, are you happy now?

ps : always and forever, dudul..